Homeschool Advice From a Friend

The other day I received some wise advice from a friend. The interesting part of it is this is the third or fourth time in the last few months that I've received the same advice, from different friends. Often times I think we hear things over and over until we are ready to accept it as truth.

In May my middle son turned five years old, making him Kindergarten age as of this September. Since he turned five years old I have wanted to start school at home with him. My plan was to find a curriculum and start working on it as early as May/June of this year. However, May and June went by, then July, August, September.... and still no formal curriculum. Once September got here I really started to panic. Then I started to second guess myself and my abilities, and I started to look into putting him into a Christian School. I thought that he would get a better and more consistent education if he was taught by someone else. There are so many limitations to what I can do right now due to this chronic illness that I have come to the realization that I can't do everything I want to. Right now being a mom, a teacher, a cook, a house cleaner, along with all the myriad of chores is too much. Truth of the matter is it would be too much even if I didn't have a debilitating illness! Homeschooling is hard for all moms, I know this because I hear it so often from others that are struggling to keep up with it all.

The advice I was given was that at this age, a formal education isn't as important as we sometimes make it out to be (matter of fact there are those that argue you shouldn't teach children too early). Kids learn from their environment and if the home environment is an educational one (meaning learning games, activities, being read to, having a parent that uses teaching moments, etc) they will learn so much. Of course as a parent who cares about my children's education academically and spiritually I have not wanted to just do nothing.

But once again I am hearing that voice telling me "you can not do it all on your own". I'm starting to listen to it more and more. I can't do it all on my own. I need God! So in September in the midst of my 'panic' I really cried out to God. I asked Him for guidance, to help direct me in the way I should go with schooling my children. I asked Him to open the doors that needed to be opened and close the doors that needed to be closed. He did close the doors to putting Kaleb into a Christian school. We just could not afford it and we couldn't get enough financial assistance to make it work. So for the last 5-6 weeks I've just been 'waiting' on Him. I still didn't know how I was going to do it all, but I had prayed and laid it at His feet and now it was just time to wait. Two weeks ago a darling woman from my church called and asked if I would like any help with the kids, she said she would enjoy doing crafts with them. I told her that would be wonderful as its one of the areas I haven't done so well with. She is planning to come once a week for one hour to do crafts with me and the kids and one hour to help clean. Then a week later when I least expected it another sweet woman from my church came up and started telling me about how she is a certified teacher, although retired. She asked me if I would like help once a week with my kids, for 1-2 hours and that she would especially love to teach math! I took a deep breathe and said "YES!". Shortly after, another woman came up to me and asked if my children knew how to swim. I explained that they love the water, but I had not yet put them into swim lessons (that is one of the things on the huge to do list). She offered to take them to the YMCA sometimes to go swimming! Last Wednesday was their first opportunity to do this and they had so much fun!

I know that God answers prayers, but often times it takes my breathe away in the way that he does it! We have so many needs right now and these women are helping to fill some of those needs! What an amazing God we serve! One of the greatest things to remember is that its always in His time. God doesn't always answer us right when we want or expect Him to. But I truly believe that if we ask Him, believe Him, and trust Him that He will meet our needs!

I'd just like to encourage all of you out there, whether you are a mom or not, that whatever you are going through in life, trust God completely. He does care about us, our needs and our hearts desires!

Book Review: Whispers in the Wind - Wild West Wind 2

Lauraine Snelling is the author of this second of a series, Whispers in the Wind. My review is on the second book, but I will say that if you have not read the first in the series, I highly encourage you to do so!

Whispers in the Wind starts off where the first book left off. The story follows Cassie Lockwood on her journey as she finally finds her fathers property and the family that currently lives there. The story takes us through the emotions Cassie suffers while trying to learn to take care of herself and her friends. We watch as two different  families work in unison to become one and share a home. This was an easy to follow story, clean and wholesome.

 I was captivated with this series from the first book, but I will admit that this second book was a bit harder to get through. It was a bit redundant and slow in spots. However, having said that I feel that it is still worth the read as its a very interesting series and I look forward to the third book coming out!
I enjoy the overall story, time period and setting of this series and can't wait to find out how the entire story pans out!



Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my own, honest opinion. I was not compensated for my review.

Today another minor surgery

So today I head to the hospital once again for another 'minor' surgery related to dialysis. This time they are removing the peritoneal dialysis catheter in my abdomen and the IJ catheter in my neck. It is true that I have decided to not pursue PD (peritoneal dialysis) any further. There were so many complications over the last 6 months with the fluid leaking into my lung multiple times. The next option was to see a thoracic surgeon about having the hole/leak repaired surgically! Yikes, something tells me that wouldn't be classified as a 'minor' surgery... but you never know!
About two months ago my Nephrologist changed my hemodialysis schedule from the normal three times a week to only two times a week. I'm sure that change has played a huge part in my decision to stay on hemodialysis. Two times a week is sooo much better than three, it gives me time to recover, breathe and live a normal life for a few days in between treatments. Where as three times a week was only time to recover from the treatment and then go right back, it consumed me mentally and physically. Of course the only reason I can do two times a week is because my kidneys are functioning well enough that two treatments does the job. Thank you God!
So heres to hoping that todays minor surgery goes well, that I won't react badly to the anesthesia when waking up, that I won't have to stay overnight in the hospital (unless I need it... there is something good to be said for those electric hospital beds right after having abdominal surgery). Oh and I am requesting they do NOT give me the anti-delirium medication this time! Sure, it kept me from freaking out when waking up (I am never aware of these episodes, only the limited information they tell me after), but then I threw up all evening long. Yuck, no thank you!

 

Depression and Illness

As a teenager I suffered from severe depression. Some people may know that fact about me, but others may not. I was a very angry, lonely, depressed teenager with low self esteem. As I got older though, and especially after I became a mom the first time, the depression left. I think that for me, being a mother gave me a real reason to live. Life wasn't just about me anymore... although it never should have been just about me to begin with but back then I didn't have the relationship with God I needed to have.

Since becoming ill, and starting dialysis I have heard some talk about depression and chronic illness. It is said that when someone has a severe illness such as kidney failure, cancer, etc that they go through a grieving process just like someone that has lost a loved one.

The reason I bring this all up is to say that I have not dealt with depression in years, matter of fact I never expected to have to deal with it again. But it has tried to rear its ugly head again. I know this is part of the devils plan to reek more havoc in my life. To keep me down and out emotionally and spiritually. In the last year I have suffered 2-3 bouts of depression, the good news is it was short lived, praise the Lord! Mostly just a few hours where my brain could not handle 'handling it well' anymore. The depression just came on me like a wave, choking and suffocating so I literally could not breathe. I will not go into the dark thoughts and feelings that I have dealt with during these times... just because I don't want to give voice to it. But for those of you that have suffered from depression, I'm sure you can imagine some of what I may have felt. In these instances I for whatever reason was not able to call out to God immediately, but He called out to me and when I grasped a hold of Him He didn't let me go. God is so good. He gives us grace and mercy, even when we fail miserably and make the wrong choices. One way God helped me recently was through a rogue Christian radio station. I was just searching through the stations and came across a somewhat fuzzy station I had never heard before... and have not heard since. Unlike the regular Christian radio station that usually plays so much garbage, the songs playing that day spoke to my heart and helped to bring me out of the dark. Was that God? I believe so, but even if you argue it wasn't, it sure was good timing!

If you are going through something difficult in your life, regardless of what it is, cry out to God. He will be faithful to answer you!

Some things just can't be explained.

Since my last post regarding my improved Kidney function, not a lot has changed. Other than my increased confusion and a new determined sense to just trust God.
There are two tests that measure the creatinine. One is a blood (serum) creatinine test and the other is called a 24 hr urine clearance test. It would be very hard for me to try to explain the difference between these two tests so if you are interested, in more information, here is a link.
The 24 hr urine creatinine indicated that my kidney function had improved. However the blood creatinine test indicated my kidney function was decreasing. My Doctor said the longer I went without dialysis the higher the blood creatinine would get and I would also be at risk for increased potassium (which leads to heart problems). I decided to just trust my Doctor because I couldn't make sense of any of it.
All I know is that I am still feeling better, I still have increased urine output and I still have little to no swelling (fluid retention). These are indicators of increased kidney function, regardless of the numbers. I can't explain any of it and I'm not going to try. I am thankful that I am able to do dialysis two times a week instead of three. I am grateful that I have more energy. And I have decided to NOT complain about waking up 3-5 times a night to go to the bathroom. Sure it means a decrease in quality of rest, but my body is creating urine, YEAH! :)
I will trust God completely. He will heal me in His timing. I do not at this time believe that a miracle must be instant, complete and permanent in order to be a true miracle (as described in the book Miracles: A Journalist Looks at Modern Day Experiences of God's Power by Tim Stafford). Who are we to put limitations on God? Some things just can't be explained.

Book Review: Miracles: A Journalist Looks at Modern Day Experiences of God's Power by Tim Stafford

 

 

 

 

 

The author, Tim Stafford claims to have written this book from a journalistic view. However to write something from a true journalistic view, it should obtain little to no opinion and be based on facts and observations. Tim Stafford does not hold back on his opinions in this book, and I feel that his opinions cloud things up.

One statement he makes that I simply can not agree with is to the affect that "a miracle must be instant, complete and permanent". This is a mans description of a miracle. But what is God's description of a miracle?

I really do believe that believing in miracles comes down to faith. People want miracles so that they will have faith and then be able to believe in God. Unfortunately I don't think it works that way. Miracles definitely do boost our faith and we need that! However if you walk around demanding miracles of God as a ultimatum to your belief, you might be sorely disappointed.

Despite my personal dislike for this book, I do think that there is some decent information in here for the general public. However, understand that the author is not an expert and really just an average person writing his opinion (as am I), so take that with a grain of salt.

I received a free copy of Miracles in exchange for my honest opinion. I received no other compensation.

"Impressive Recovery, Difficult to Explain"

"Impressive Recovery, Difficult to Explain". Those are the words my Nephrologist wrote in my medical chart after seeing me on Friday the 10th. To me those are beautiful, amazing words! Praise be to God!!

Let me explain.... The last three weeks I have been feeling so much better between dialysis sessions. Throughout this time I have noticed several positive changes physically as well. One was that I was having very little to no visible swelling (due to kidney failure, fluid will build up in between dialysis treatments causing visible swelling usually in the feet, hands, etc). The second is that my body was producing urine like it used to before my kidneys failed (One of the functions of your kidneys is to produce urine and the worse your kidney function, the less urine your body produces). I started wondering if my kidney function was getting better so I called my Doctors office last week and requested a test to see what my current kidney function is. When the results came in I went to see my Doctor. He said to me "well, your kidney function is better. But the question is why is it better? I don't understand why its better." I couldn't help myself, I told him I knew why! "God is healing me!" I must say it was an uncomfortable silence after I uttered those words. His expression didn't change and my heart dropped a little. But we moved on in the conversation and he told me he wants me to stay on dialysis (although I am going from 3 sessions to two a week) and do another test in two weeks to see how my kidneys are functioning then.  
One month ago my Creatnine was 5.70, as of Tuesday of last week my Creatnine was 3.47 (which takes me from stage 5 to stage 4)! Before I started dialysis my GFR (glomerular filtration rate) was a 9 (anything under 15 is considered renal failure). Mine is now 28 (normal is 60)!!
I am giving the praise to God but we are also praying that God will continue to heal me. I'm not out of the woods health wise as stage 4 is still considered critical but I feel that just having these last 3 weeks where I have been feeling better is a miracle itself and I am thankful for that!

And if you are wondering how I know what was written in my medical chart... well... it is my medical chart and all you have to do is ask the right person. :)