Thursday, July 12, 2012

Update On The Health Front

I have found it really hard lately to do updates on my health issues. Originally one of the big reasons I started this blog was to talk about Kidney Failure and hopefully to promote the need for living kidney donors. There are thousands of people out in the world waiting for a kidney transplant and most of the public doesn't seem to understand the severity of kidney failure and the horribleness of a life spent waiting on dialysis. But while living this disease every day I find that I don't always want to talk more about it because it can bring on feelings  (such as resentment and frustration) I don't want to cater to. So if my health postings are sporadic, that might be the reason.

But to give the real update I am still keeping on... I am off peritoneal dialysis for the time being and doing my hemodialysis treatments in center three times a week. Hemodialysis is tough, I feel sick after treatments and the schedule really makes it difficult to lead a normal life. I can't make long term plans or go away for the weekend without missing a treatment. I am still believing God for his mercy and healing!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Still on Hemodialysis

At the end of May I posted about the peritoneal dialysis fluid leaking through a hole in my diaphragm underneath my right lung. I haven't posted much since then because frankly I've been on a roller coaster physically. Right before leaving the hospital on May 25th my Nephrologist took me off of Peritoneal Dialysis and arrangements where made for me to start hemodialysis (part of that process was having an IJ catheter placed into the main artery that goes directly to my heart).
(You can check out the post here. )  For two weeks after my hospital stay I did hemodialysis exclusively. Then about mid June my Nephrologist decided it was time to start adding peritoneal dialysis back slowly. We started at 1000 liter fills for a week, then 1500 liter fills for a week, each week followed up with a chest xray. Then on Friday the 29th the Dr upped it to 2000 liter fills. And that's when it started.... the next morning I went to dialysis, came home and was exhausted. My mother called and said she and my step dad needed help at the garden so we packed up the family and headed over there. I picked raspberries for about 30 minutes then couldn't stand to be on my feet anymore. I went to the van and slept until everyone was done. We went home and I took some pain pills and went to bed. The next morning I got up determined to go to church. If I remember correctly I told my 16 yr old son that I was going to church whether he had to carry me there or not. Ignore the mental picture.... lol. 20 minutes later I realized I was too sick to go. My lungs hurt, it hurt to breathe, it hurt to lean over. I was nauseous and had no energy. I slept the whole day.
Monday morning I had my scheduled xray and after hours of waiting in the Dr's office I was told what I already new.... fluid under my right lung, again. My Dr told me he wanted to take me off PD (peritoneal dialysis) for a week, take an xray next Monday and if the fluid has reabsorbed we will try again with 1700 liter fills this time. I'm praying this hole heals itself and quick. My body is exhausted. Half of 2012 is gone and I've spent the entire 6 months of it being sick. This wouldn't be so bad if I was an old single cat lady (no offense to any elderly people with chronic disease, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes either) but being a wife and mother of three kids... well, I feel like life is slipping away.
Please Lord heal this hole in my diaphragm and let me return to doing PD. I am tired of feeling sick most of the time. This post here accurately describes the symptoms and how I feel about 50-70% of the time after a hemodialysis treatment. On the flip side of it I want to be content and find a way to strive with whatever the future is. If I have to stay on hemodialysis then I pray for the patience, resilience and grace to get through every single day and to accomplish what I need to on a day to day basis.

Reflections on Writing

I often think of posts to write, narrating in my head exactly what I want to say and how I will say it. My mind seems to constantly be going so for me its not hard to think on what I'd like to share. But often reality gets in the way and I don't share even a quarter of what I wanted to. My goal on this blog is not to write a post a day, that would be such a difficult achievement to reach and I can see burn out ahead of I attempted that. Instead I just want to share once or twice a week when time permits. Sometimes I've wondered if having such a multi-topic blog would repel people. There are so many wonderful blogs out there. I love to read the homeschooling blogs, the homestead blogs, the adoption blogs, the large family blogs and the list could go on and on. But how can I keep my blog to just one topic when my life is not? Its not one topic, its many. One thing I don't want to do as a mom is compare myself to other moms because it just wouldn't be fair. And in a sense it isn't right to compare my blog to others either.

I started out just wanting to share my thoughts and feelings regarding dialysis but as a homeschooling mom I want to share that aspect of our lives also. Unfortunately there is not a lot of homeschooling going on these days and the health issues just seem to take over. So for now I will just keep doing what I am doing. Posting when I can, sharing whats relevant at the moment and working on letting God lead my thoughts, my posts and my words.

Sunday, July 1, 2012


Our newest family member, Fluffington Braveheart I (the 1st)! Now I have to say that I had no plans to add any new additions to our family. We already had two cats and one of them needs to go to a new home without children. But... on to our story of the new family addition.
It was a cold and rainy afternoon.... my sister had just come home from work and she stopped over to say hi. As we were sitting and chatting she happened to mention that while she was getting her mail she heard some excessive meowing from the bushes behind the mail boxes. I was instantly concerned and asked her "what if its hurt?". Her response was that she was afraid it was some 'creepy' guy hiding in the bushes waiting to abduct her and so she wasn't about to go searching for it. I rolled my eyes in exasperation and said "well I'll go look for it". And since I was not afraid in the least that there was some creepy guy hiding in the bushes, I bundled up the boys and down the road we walked in the drizzle to the mailboxes. Soon as we reached our destination I could hear the meowing. Whoever it was was very upset/scared or hurt. I started to search through the bushes for the sound, but it took me about 5 minutes until I saw who was crying and what I saw melted my heart! A sweet, precious little orange and white fluff ball about 6 weeks old. Of course we brought him home and fed him, he was sooo hungry but in surprisingly good shape. Then the boys started asking what we were going to name him. At first I kept saying "nothing, because we aren't keeping him!". But eventually that changed into "well... I don't know what we should name him..." So now we are a three cat family! lol