Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Doctors Appointment

Good news first. I lost 7 lbs in 3 weeks! *happy dance*

Now I must admit that todays Doctors appointment was a bit of a dissapointment. Over the last week I have been feeling so much better. I had a lot of energy, I've slept less and I've actually gotten things done around the house that I hadn't done in weeks! The truth is, I believe in miracles. I believe that we have a loving God who can and will heal us, if it is His will for our lives. Unfortunatly we aren't usually given a 'heads up' on what that will is. So it is up to us to live our lives the best we can, and to walk forward in faith.... and I'm ok with that. I really am.  But I truly did think God had done a physical healing in me, until I saw the lab work today and realized that perhaps not yet. That doesn't mean He won't... and it doesn't mean that He hasn't been working in my life. After all, it is truly a blessing that I have felt so much better over the last week! I thank God for that.

So that brings me back to the reality of the matter. I won't be avoiding dialysis. I begged my Doctor for another two weeks. But insteads of two weeks of my hoping for improved labs, it will be two weeks of putting my head around the fact that in two weeks I WILL be starting dialysis. That is a good thing though because I won't fight so hard against it since I will have two weeks to get used to the idea and prepare. There are a lot of things I will have to figure out. Such as... if my husband goes back to work by the time I start dialysis, who will watch the boys for those 15-18 hours a week I will be gone? Are we going to be able to do homeschool co-op this session (starts January 21st)? How long will it take Medicare to kick in once dialysis starts (I keep hearing different things, anywhere from one month to three months)?
And oh so many more questions....

That brings me to the subject of health insurance. I still do not have health insurance. It took two months to hear back from DSHS, they finally sent me paperwork for disability insurance. I turned it in yesterday and was informed "it will take awhile to process". *sigh* As of right now we have two unpaid emergency room visits and unpaid lab work.
Due to the fact that I do not have health insurance, I will have to have an IJ catheter put in in two weeks. It will be considered 'emergency surgery'. If I had health insurance I could have had a fistula put in two months ago. The difference is that an IJ catheter is inserted into the main artery in your chest. It is considered a temporary site for dialysis due to the increased risk of infection. The most common type of dialysis is referred to as hemodialysis. Two months prior to the start of dialysis outpatient surgery is done which connects a artery to a vein (usually in your forearm) to create a larger blood vessel area, this is called a fistula.


  1. Heya sweetie. I know you're praying for me and I'm praying for you, and it seems we're both having a bit of a struggle right now. I don't know what God is trying to do, but I'm clinging to James 1. One of these days, we'll be shocked and grateful for whatever His plan really is. Keep the faith; you're not in this alone.

  2. I am praying whole heartedly for your struggle and am deeply touched by the love, support and the prayers. *hugs*